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Make sure you turn up on time for the meeting. Don’t be too early, or the client will be embarrassed about the untidiness of their house. Avoid making the session too formal. Try to reduce the tension. Start asking questions as you step through the threshold, rather than waiting to be seated. Ask the client easy questions like:
- What are those plants in your garden? When do they bloom?
- Have you lived here long?
You can also make complimentary comments, such as:
- This is an airy room
- That’s a well-fed cat
These are cues for the client to start talking about themselves. Remember that the client will be feeling exposed. It takes bravery to ring someone and admit they need counselling.
The client may also offer tea or coffee. It is wise to accept, even if you don’t drink the stuff. It will give the client something to do, and make them feel busy. You will seem more approachable if you ask permission to accompany them to the kitchen:
When you both settle down, you should be in no hurry to get into the ‘counselling’ session. Let the client start at their own pace. If they fail to raise the issue, you can use some information from the telephone call (above), as in:
- So you wanted to share a concern with me?
This will lead them to talk about the problem. Avoid giving them answers. Don’t offer advice. At this stage, you are merely here to listen. If pressed for an answer, say:
- I’d need to know a little more about the situation before coming to any conclusion.
Before you know it, 45 minutes will have passed. It is surprising how long it can take to admire a garden, make tea, and mention the counselling problem.
